It is funny how much I really started to like El Paso. It is pretty bare and not much to look at and sometimes smells like its neighboring country, but I really felt like it was a place I fit in. Ok, rethinking that? what does that mean of me?
I just have been struggling here in Utah to find my nitch. I think because it is so hard for me to accept help and I am so used to filling my time with doing stuff for others that I don't know what is needed of me here. I struggle to not feel guilty (as I think we are all guilty of) of doing something for myself. I still try to go to the gym only at times the kids are asleep and find myself pulling all nighters to blog and follow my favorite Brett Favre story online.
I guess I am just used to being so busy (and the kids too) that I am so done with summer. I am so done with no scheduling to the very minute/second. I just want my old life back. It is not that I am unhappy, it is just different. I find myself happiest when I am scheduled to the max and then doing nothing really blows me away. Why is that? Why can't I just be happy to sit on the floor and do nothing with my kids all day....BORING!
Today I got alot done and with the time Toby coming nearer I have a list of stuff to do. I am going to finish my list and then some to get myself back in the groove.
All in all I really do miss my El Paso life. I miss my fellow army wives and driving on post and hiding my cell phone pretending I am not talking on it, and going 10 stupid miles and hour. I miss getting mad because nobody speaks my language in my country.
Believe it or not.. the armpit of Texas is a place that isn't so bad!
Friday, August 15, 2008
No, he is not here yet!!!
I know I posted awhile ago that when I stopped blogging it was because Toby was here. NOPE! I just have not honestly been in the mood. I have had lots of funny stuff happen and lots of activities to write about and sooo much inspirtation is racking my brain, but sitting and writing it was not flowing for me so I took a break.
Cera, that sweet little girl, has turned to her new phase of speaking. She has learned the work NO and is using it all the time. Can't blame her, that is about all I say to her for most the day. She is however loving shoes now (thanks mom for the new purchase) and will even wear socks longer than 3 seconds. She is soo cute
Carmen is going to kill me with her OCD. People I am not kidding. She is so bad it makes my head hurt sometimes. Example: last night we went on a walk (they rode their new scooters) ok the one MOM purchased to keep at the house. Anyway, we were out and Carmen wants to stop because her feet hurt. Looks as if she has her new church shoes on to ride scooters. Ok, so luckily because I know her I had a pair of tennis shoes with me to change. Fast forward..in 3 miles, she stopped 5 times to switch back and forth.
Her fingernails always have to be painted perfect, if not you will be stuck there taking it all off and doing it over, or the reason she will only drink out of a pink straw? I swear it is not my fault that she is such a monster. She is soo cute too however and I can't get enough of her.
Courtney and Cyrus are getting ready for school to start and trying to figure out if they are going to ride wave boards or bikes on the first day.. life is full of those hard decisions you know.
As for me, I am dying in anticipation for toby to come home. The kids are too but it is constant with me. Today we mark month 7 down and I am soo proud of myseld, ok and everyone else. I also, in trying not to complain (because my husband is in horrible heat and humidity) think that it is already to cold for me here. How am I going to stand it? I definetly am for the warmer climate. Although..Utah is so beautiful. I am almost overwhelmed with the green and mountains and trees oh my!
On to doing some activities to pass the time until my sweet hubby comes home.
Cera, that sweet little girl, has turned to her new phase of speaking. She has learned the work NO and is using it all the time. Can't blame her, that is about all I say to her for most the day. She is however loving shoes now (thanks mom for the new purchase) and will even wear socks longer than 3 seconds. She is soo cute
Carmen is going to kill me with her OCD. People I am not kidding. She is so bad it makes my head hurt sometimes. Example: last night we went on a walk (they rode their new scooters) ok the one MOM purchased to keep at the house. Anyway, we were out and Carmen wants to stop because her feet hurt. Looks as if she has her new church shoes on to ride scooters. Ok, so luckily because I know her I had a pair of tennis shoes with me to change. Fast forward..in 3 miles, she stopped 5 times to switch back and forth.
Her fingernails always have to be painted perfect, if not you will be stuck there taking it all off and doing it over, or the reason she will only drink out of a pink straw? I swear it is not my fault that she is such a monster. She is soo cute too however and I can't get enough of her.
Courtney and Cyrus are getting ready for school to start and trying to figure out if they are going to ride wave boards or bikes on the first day.. life is full of those hard decisions you know.
As for me, I am dying in anticipation for toby to come home. The kids are too but it is constant with me. Today we mark month 7 down and I am soo proud of myseld, ok and everyone else. I also, in trying not to complain (because my husband is in horrible heat and humidity) think that it is already to cold for me here. How am I going to stand it? I definetly am for the warmer climate. Although..Utah is so beautiful. I am almost overwhelmed with the green and mountains and trees oh my!
On to doing some activities to pass the time until my sweet hubby comes home.
Brett Favre
I only post this because 1. I want some comments on the matter and 2. My husband was baffled that I was following something that has anything to do with sports. ( He hasn't seen my post on watching the ESPYS apparently)
I have been following this stuff going on with Brett Favre and just wonder what is going on in his head. I wonder if he really did want to retire and then got so bored he wanted to come back? Is he hurting that much from not having his fans screaming at him that he needs to come back to fulfill some kind of ego offset?
What about that he wasn't even thinking of coming back until someone yells out at a press conference and the media makes a huge deal out of nothing and then what do you know? he is being offered millions to NOT PLAY? How does that work? I guess once you have built yourself up high enough you have that pull but come on!
Ok, couple of last things..I hope and pray he did not just go from being at the top of his game to leaving when he is down and out. I hope he has a good season this year and maybe gets humbled if he is a backup. I just hope the best for the guy and think that maybe the media just frazzled everything up for him...
Am I wrong? Is he a smart guy and knows what he is doing? I hope so..
On that note..Yes, for those of you that are wondering. I have a lot of time on my hands to think of nothingness to take away from thinking of stuff sometimes. I actually am finding out that maybe I like sport. My husband is coming back to a changed women, and isn't he so lucky it is changed for his betterment.
I have been following this stuff going on with Brett Favre and just wonder what is going on in his head. I wonder if he really did want to retire and then got so bored he wanted to come back? Is he hurting that much from not having his fans screaming at him that he needs to come back to fulfill some kind of ego offset?
What about that he wasn't even thinking of coming back until someone yells out at a press conference and the media makes a huge deal out of nothing and then what do you know? he is being offered millions to NOT PLAY? How does that work? I guess once you have built yourself up high enough you have that pull but come on!
Ok, couple of last things..I hope and pray he did not just go from being at the top of his game to leaving when he is down and out. I hope he has a good season this year and maybe gets humbled if he is a backup. I just hope the best for the guy and think that maybe the media just frazzled everything up for him...
Am I wrong? Is he a smart guy and knows what he is doing? I hope so..
On that note..Yes, for those of you that are wondering. I have a lot of time on my hands to think of nothingness to take away from thinking of stuff sometimes. I actually am finding out that maybe I like sport. My husband is coming back to a changed women, and isn't he so lucky it is changed for his betterment.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Memory Tag!
Come on all you blog stalkers who never leave comments, but check my blog (do I have to name names?????)!!! THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!! I want you to participate!!! :)
Memory Tag
Here are the rules :1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.Pleeeeeeeeeease!!!! Pretty please???!!!! This will be a good time!!!!
Memory Tag
Here are the rules :1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.Pleeeeeeeeeease!!!! Pretty please???!!!! This will be a good time!!!!
11 years
I have been waiting days to post this and give it the credit it deserves!!
On August 2nd 1997, 11 years ago..I was married for time and ALL ETERNITY to my sweet hubby Toby. At that time when I was a young 19 year old brat, I could not have known what was in store for me. All I knew is that I was "in love" with him and wanted to live happily ever after.
The years have come and gone..but these are some things I have learned along the way:
1. Be honest no matter what
2. Be funny and be willing to laugh at yourself when you say something stupid
3. Roll with the punches
4. No matter how bad it is, it would suck worse if you were divorced
5. Work hard
6. Support each other in whatever path you want to take
7. Don't freak out when he wants a nap(guys need naps, what the heck?)
8. Let him have some friends
9. Tell him everyday how much you appreciate him
10. Love your life, whatever your situation
We have been blessed with 4 kids and not necessarily at optimal times, but my husband has always worked really hard to try to take care of us. He has shown me how much he loves us by simple things like..being a garbage man for a short time (this is something I will never forget). He has been able to support me with some crazy ideas I have had and had some ideas of his own that I am so glad we have tried.
Something most people don't know..a couple years ago i was going through a hard time and Toby had to call my mom to drive up and talk some sense into me. (Thanks mom for coming to our rescue). It was really hard for him to do that and I appreciate the fact that he did. I know how hard it was for him to watch the mother of his kids and his precious wife be so sad all the time, but he sucked it up and stuck it out.
The way he makes fun of me for a one liner like "Entrapment is my favorite movie" for years and years. The way he loves me when I am fat or skinny. The way he still came home every night when I was a real *&*&& on birth control. The way he won't let me fight with him and makes me laugh when I am livid. Although he doesn't like change that much, he allows me to change everything all the time. The freedoms he has given (fighting overseas for me, or letting me work nights even though he was scared for my safety).
I believe I could have not picked a better match for me than Toby. Although we are so opposite in soooo many ways, we are sooo alike. If it were not for his humor we would never have lasted 11 years, and laughed the whole time.
Today is day number 221 since I last kissed him or held his hand. The love is even stronger for him today than it was 221 days ago. Although I miss him, it really makes this time apart ok because I know I have someone who loves me very much.
I have some work to do...11 years is not very long in eternity. I love my husband very much.. I sit and wait until he returns to me safely,and then I will do it again. God has blessed us and we won't forget.
To all of you who doubted: IN YOUR FACE..to all of you who supported: thank you so much. We love you!
On August 2nd 1997, 11 years ago..I was married for time and ALL ETERNITY to my sweet hubby Toby. At that time when I was a young 19 year old brat, I could not have known what was in store for me. All I knew is that I was "in love" with him and wanted to live happily ever after.
The years have come and gone..but these are some things I have learned along the way:
1. Be honest no matter what
2. Be funny and be willing to laugh at yourself when you say something stupid
3. Roll with the punches
4. No matter how bad it is, it would suck worse if you were divorced
5. Work hard
6. Support each other in whatever path you want to take
7. Don't freak out when he wants a nap(guys need naps, what the heck?)
8. Let him have some friends
9. Tell him everyday how much you appreciate him
10. Love your life, whatever your situation
We have been blessed with 4 kids and not necessarily at optimal times, but my husband has always worked really hard to try to take care of us. He has shown me how much he loves us by simple things like..being a garbage man for a short time (this is something I will never forget). He has been able to support me with some crazy ideas I have had and had some ideas of his own that I am so glad we have tried.
Something most people don't know..a couple years ago i was going through a hard time and Toby had to call my mom to drive up and talk some sense into me. (Thanks mom for coming to our rescue). It was really hard for him to do that and I appreciate the fact that he did. I know how hard it was for him to watch the mother of his kids and his precious wife be so sad all the time, but he sucked it up and stuck it out.
The way he makes fun of me for a one liner like "Entrapment is my favorite movie" for years and years. The way he loves me when I am fat or skinny. The way he still came home every night when I was a real *&*&& on birth control. The way he won't let me fight with him and makes me laugh when I am livid. Although he doesn't like change that much, he allows me to change everything all the time. The freedoms he has given (fighting overseas for me, or letting me work nights even though he was scared for my safety).
I believe I could have not picked a better match for me than Toby. Although we are so opposite in soooo many ways, we are sooo alike. If it were not for his humor we would never have lasted 11 years, and laughed the whole time.
Today is day number 221 since I last kissed him or held his hand. The love is even stronger for him today than it was 221 days ago. Although I miss him, it really makes this time apart ok because I know I have someone who loves me very much.
I have some work to do...11 years is not very long in eternity. I love my husband very much.. I sit and wait until he returns to me safely,and then I will do it again. God has blessed us and we won't forget.
To all of you who doubted: IN YOUR FACE..to all of you who supported: thank you so much. We love you!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
MRS TEXAS
OK, so I have either got to do it, or quit thinking about it. I met someone who knows pageantry (if that is even a word) and she said my personality could win Miss Congeniality, but I need to work on a whole slew of things to even compete in a major competition.
She talked about my fore mentioned fat roll (so embarrassing), she talked about my poise and my speaking skills. She thankfully was not as mean as the other girl from Utah that I had talked to but very helpful.
So, I am going to give myself until after my surgery to work on a good resume. That is what they pretty much use in the MRS catagories. I laughed when I was talking to some guys about it and we decided that it isn't that great of a resume when I have 1. signed up to run a marathon someday 2. plans to go back to college someday 3. worksout when she has time..not too impressive right? I do however have the "she is raising 4 kids on her own while her husband is deployed overseas card to play" but I hold that card very close to my heart, because I never know when I will need it and don't want to waste it.
The actual competition is in June of next year, so I have to work hard this winter if it is what I decide to do..so for these next couple months, i will try not to bring it back up until it is a concrete goal and something I will not go back on.
Time is crackin until Toby comes home and we are ssooooooo excited I can't even come to describe the feelings..I can't really think of anything past August right now anyway.
She talked about my fore mentioned fat roll (so embarrassing), she talked about my poise and my speaking skills. She thankfully was not as mean as the other girl from Utah that I had talked to but very helpful.
So, I am going to give myself until after my surgery to work on a good resume. That is what they pretty much use in the MRS catagories. I laughed when I was talking to some guys about it and we decided that it isn't that great of a resume when I have 1. signed up to run a marathon someday 2. plans to go back to college someday 3. worksout when she has time..not too impressive right? I do however have the "she is raising 4 kids on her own while her husband is deployed overseas card to play" but I hold that card very close to my heart, because I never know when I will need it and don't want to waste it.
The actual competition is in June of next year, so I have to work hard this winter if it is what I decide to do..so for these next couple months, i will try not to bring it back up until it is a concrete goal and something I will not go back on.
Time is crackin until Toby comes home and we are ssooooooo excited I can't even come to describe the feelings..I can't really think of anything past August right now anyway.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Update to my whereabouts
Ok, so sometimes I think you are probably wondering where I am at? Utah, Idaho, El Paso? Sometimes I am all over the place and don't even know where I am at!! I have an update for everyone. Now that I have traveled and made it final, I can announce with clarity my situation.
Short story long... I got sick about 11 months ago after I had my tubes tied. I have been in and out of the doctor and nobody knows what is wrong. Oh yes, they do. Once Toby left they said I was crazy and sent me away with anxiety pills. HO HUM. Because I knew I was not crazy ( I AM NOT) I went on with life.
These last couple months the sickness just started to get annoying, sometimes worse, but mostly annoying. I was so happy to see my awesome Dr. here in Utah. He told me what sickness I had and then ran some tests. He ran a precancerous test last week and I thought it came back that I was in the clear, but apparently I have to have another test to test for Cervical Cancer. I am sure it is probably nothing because I know I still have a huge mission to accomplish here, but still you have to have hardships to appreciate the good right?
Toby is coming in a couple weeks so I am putting off any surgeries that are needed, but I am scheduled for a hysterectomy on Sept 14th. I didn't want it to come to this, but it has.
Nonetheless.. I am in Utah now. I brought back some of my stuff and the rest is still in storage in El Paso. We have to go back sometime. I am at my moms and we are going to make the best of this. I am sure she is already pulling out her hair, but she offered and I accepted.
We don't know how long we will stay but I am doing surgery and then going from there. This is not what I really wanted to do, but I know it is necesary. I know I can touch lives here also and will try my best to get some Temple work done.
I am so thankful for a supportive husband and mom and dad that help me in times like these. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that allows me to grow in many ways to have experiences to share and help others. I am so thatnkful for my good friends in El Paso that understand my situation and even though it will be tough living without me (ha ha) for a time, I can still touch there lives and text all night just like home.
Thanks everyone for being so supportive and I change what my other post said. I do care what people think of me.. I do care about all of you guys that love me for who I am . I love you all and look forward to many more moves and updates!!
Short story long... I got sick about 11 months ago after I had my tubes tied. I have been in and out of the doctor and nobody knows what is wrong. Oh yes, they do. Once Toby left they said I was crazy and sent me away with anxiety pills. HO HUM. Because I knew I was not crazy ( I AM NOT) I went on with life.
These last couple months the sickness just started to get annoying, sometimes worse, but mostly annoying. I was so happy to see my awesome Dr. here in Utah. He told me what sickness I had and then ran some tests. He ran a precancerous test last week and I thought it came back that I was in the clear, but apparently I have to have another test to test for Cervical Cancer. I am sure it is probably nothing because I know I still have a huge mission to accomplish here, but still you have to have hardships to appreciate the good right?
Toby is coming in a couple weeks so I am putting off any surgeries that are needed, but I am scheduled for a hysterectomy on Sept 14th. I didn't want it to come to this, but it has.
Nonetheless.. I am in Utah now. I brought back some of my stuff and the rest is still in storage in El Paso. We have to go back sometime. I am at my moms and we are going to make the best of this. I am sure she is already pulling out her hair, but she offered and I accepted.
We don't know how long we will stay but I am doing surgery and then going from there. This is not what I really wanted to do, but I know it is necesary. I know I can touch lives here also and will try my best to get some Temple work done.
I am so thankful for a supportive husband and mom and dad that help me in times like these. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that allows me to grow in many ways to have experiences to share and help others. I am so thatnkful for my good friends in El Paso that understand my situation and even though it will be tough living without me (ha ha) for a time, I can still touch there lives and text all night just like home.
Thanks everyone for being so supportive and I change what my other post said. I do care what people think of me.. I do care about all of you guys that love me for who I am . I love you all and look forward to many more moves and updates!!
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