Panic Attack

I am feeling better now but wanted to blog for the memory of what my body went through yesterday. Also..Toby's! When Toby left in January I was sick but I got over it withing hours and cried very little. Yesterday when Toby called we could hardly talk on the phone and when he said goodbye I started to have what I would think a Panic Attack would feel like. I was ok for most the day until everything was quite and I had to go to bed by myself. I thought I was going to die. By talking to Toby today I am not alone. He also felt the same feelings and really misses me and the kids.

We did talk however that these are just feelings of the flesh and that we are committed to this Army life. It has been good to us and got us farther in such a short time then we had ever thought possible. I love this life. I wish I was back living on post but will stay the course to achieve some of our goals.

We are doing better today. Toby was going to go sleep on the floor and hopefully would make it back sometime soon and then we can get back into our routines. This time we get to use webcams so that will be really exciting. The first half of the deployment was just voice, but that was hard for the little kids. We only got to see him twice in that 8 months, but this next 8 are going to be so much better. We are heading to the finish line. We are going to come out on top.

Thank you honey for reminding me the Devil wants me to feel like crap. He reminded me today that my Heavenly Father loves me so much. He helped me see that comforting angels are trying to reach me and I am not allowing it. Our kids are doing fantastic..although Carmen keeps reminding Cera that Dad will be back tomorrow. (she doesn't understand time)

Thanks to everyone we have supporting us and sending prayers our way. We love you all!