What is your Perspective?

Some times I have a hard time putting things into perspective but I did this week. On Tuesday I got Cera in the running stroller and we were headed up to get Carmen form pre-school. It is only about 1.8 miles one way so no big deal. I get to her school feeling awesome. On the way back Carmen and Cera get Artic Circle so they will stay in the stroller for the run back. It was on this run back that I got teary eyed.

I know you have all seen this video, but I was thinking about it and I started to cry. I was crying because I was putting myself in his perspective. If someone were to jump in my life right now they would probably see chaos. With Carmen in the stroller it was 25 pds heavier for the run home. I thought about how much harder it is to be pushing someone, not only the weight but the strain on the arms from not swinging. The pain started to come to my legs at the end also.




I pushed on and made it home in record time and then finished my PT Test with 17 pushups and 58 situps, but I don't want to forget that feeling of an inkling of what he might of felt. About and hour later Carmen wanted to go for a run with me so we headed out around the block.. She made it a quarter of a mile and wanted me to hold her. I put her on my back and started to jog..the thoughts came to me of my husband who ran with a 35pd ruck on his back for 26 miles in over 100 degree weather and came in first for the Army in the Bataan Death March. I ran about a quarter of a mile and had to put her off my back. I thought at that moment how amazing Toby is and I felt a greater appreciation for that achievement he made.



In all we do, if we just put ourselves in someone else's perspective we can gain a better appreciation for the simple things we do everyday. I am thankful to have been enlightened and grateful to partake in the spiritual experience to gain a better appreciation for those around me that work had and push to the limits.

Start of the Long Road

This post is going to be long but I needed to blog the memory before it fades to much. In October of 2006 Toby and I had a friend come over "Ryan Prince" and he broght this movie with him for us to watch. Ryan is the kind of guy that is sooo positive (way over me) that he always has something else for you to look at or make you better. It was the movie "the secret". It is not the movie persea that changed my life it was the spirit of love that Ryan brought to our home.
Toby and I had just gotten over a rough patch in our lives and were wanting something new. Ryan comes to the door, Toby falls asleep while watching the movie. Ryan leaves and tells us how much he cares about us and he leaves.
That night, Toby and I talked. We talked about what were were going to do and Toby decided he wanted to try to go back to school.
Stop here:: this is one of those things when you make a different way and you set things in motion that you don't know will come to pass..yep this was it.

Toby started going to school and I moved home to Utah to my moms while he finished up the busy season at Fed Ex. While I was in Utah I met an Army recruiter, he got Toby's name from the helicopter school. We had never thought about the military but I told Toby about it anyway. Toby moved down a week later in January and went to meet Steve. After asking many questions Toby decided to apply for a Manager job at a local shipping company in Salt Lake.

Toby went the first week of February and took the ASVAB (the Army's entrance exam). He got a call from the local company with a good job offer with benefits. He had to decide what to do. After much prayer he went and enlisted the next day with the Army. I got a phone call saying he had just sworn in and was leaving in 10 days to basic. It was February and I was due to have Cera in May. (we were going to wait for him to leave but he signed for the quickship, turns out if he wouldn't have done that then they would not have covered Cera's expensive NICU bills)



Toby flew out on the 22nd of February and I didn't know when I would hear from him again. I stayed at my Mom and Dads and waited to have this baby and cleaned out our storage unit full of junk. Well Cera Jane decided to come a few weeks early. I remember getting all the kids in the car and heading to the hospital. She hadn't moved for awhile so I decided to head up and get checked. Turns out she was ready to come 3 weeks early. Thanks to my Mom who showed up and next door neighbor Jan and Annie Hafen and Emily my sister that took my kids.



I remember sitting in that room and thinking I am going to have a baby all by myself. Luckily my Mom made it back to the hospital. Cera was born Friday the 13 first thing in the morning. I was going to do it natural because the recovery was so much better when I had Carmen natural but being there by myself I wimped out. I got the epidural and what do you know..I pushed once and she was out. She had a hole in her lung so they took her to the NICU. I called the red cross and they got a message to Toby. He called back and said "what are you doing?" I told him I had Cera and what I had named her and that the pictures would be in the mail. I could tell how hard it was for him to not be there.



Well my mom got some weird sickness and landed herself in the hospital but Jan and Annie brought the kids up to see me and Em helped with Dad that night. Dad came to see me and then I had a candlelight dinner by myself. I begged the Dr. to let me out so I left Saturday morning first thing. I didn't get to take Cera home so I ran to help Dad with the other kids. I remember my feet swelled up so big because I went on a walk with them that afternoon.


Thanks to the missionaries at Fort Knox I was able to email the pictures of Cera to them and Toby got them at church on Sunday. What special people those missionaries were. I went to church on Sunday and still didn't have Cera home so everyone thought I was still pregnant. That night my Dad and Emily's husband Dan went up to the hospital and gave Cera a blessing.

She was released the next day and was a perfectly healthy little girl.

Start of the Long Road Part II

I had a friend online, named Stephanie and she told me about how I had to enroll in the different insurance to get the best coverage. She told me right in time and saved us a bunch of money because we were covered in time for Cera's birth. Her sharing that information will always stay with me and I am so thankful for her.

I remember my sister taking the girls to get their hair cut to keep their appointments. Mind you she came two, almost three weeks early so I was not the most prepared. I only had the diapers that came home with me from the hospital so I headed to Target with my 3 day old baby and my three other kids.


We soon made it home and the kids were sooo excited. Cera was a great sleeper from the start and I was so grateful. I started making plans to go to Toby's basic graduation. My sister was getting married that next weekend so it was going to be a tight fit to get everything in. I decided to rent a car to drive out and fly home to be there in time for the wedding.

Well Cera got a clean bill of health from the doctor to be able to fly and I went and picked up the rental car. I remember driving it home to pick up the kids and thinking of what the next couple of days would be like. I had not seen my husband for 10 weeks and I had only heard his voice 3 times. He had lost some weight and I had had a baby. It was a drive from Utah to Fort Knox Kentucky and I planned on a couple days drive. Cera was two weeks old by now. I packed me and my kids in the car, we said goodbye to Grandma (who I know wanted to tell me how crazy I was, but didn't). We said a prayer and on the road we go.


We made it to Wyoming and I took the girls into the bathroom to change diapers. I took my wallet out to get a diaper out of my bag. Left it in the bathroom. Left the bathroom, went back in and it was gone. Military ID, drivers license, cell phone, social security card. Yep, all gone. I called the police and then called my mom. I had an extra cell phone because I was taking Toby his down to him. I felt a rush of peacefullness come over me when I realized I had taken my debit card out and put it in my pocket. The policeman took us to a hotel and it was scary so we went to another one. I was hoping they would find my wallet because I knew I just was not going to get on base with a rented car and no ID. In the morning I thought of all my option. I thought about just not going on and going home, I prayed about it and felt like I should go on. I went to the police station. It was closed! I just sat down almost willing to accept defeat. The window popped open. The lady inside asked if she could help me. I asked her if there was any way to get some documentation of my missing things just in case I could use it to get on post.
She started to get teary eyed and confided in me that she for some reason got up and came to work early and started documenting my case. She said most times a report takes weeks to get. There I was being blessed right there at the police station.

I got the report in Cheyenne and off we went. Now that I was a day behind I had to drive across the country without stopping with four kids in the car. We stopped someone for lunch and a nice couple showed me a fun park across the way so the kids could stretch their legs. We stopped at a McDonald's and the kids were telling everyone our story and people were offering money and help..it was really funny, but we were in a hurry so went on our way. We passed Omaha and I was worried because it was already getting dark out. The kids were tired so I was going to be golden in that department.

I drove as long as I could and about 1 am had to stop at a hotel in the middle of no-where. I checked in and told her my story and asked her for a wake-up call so I could make it to Fort Knox on time. It was about a 5 hour drive from where I was at. I went and got the kids tucked in and couldn't sleep so I got showered and ready for the day. I layed down for about 2 hours and the phone rang. The women on the phone said "you know what, I was just thinking how the time changes and you are going to be behind an hour of what you were planning. Someone else looking out for me.

I got the kids dressed and ready to go. It was still dark so they were still sleepy. I drove and drove and drove. The sun came up and I remember coming around a bend and seeing the St. Louis Arch. It was so beautiful with the sunrise on it.



We stopped for a quick breakfast and were going to be there right on time. It was HUMID in Kentucky! I quickly changed my wet shirt and headed in the line of cars to get on post. I had no ID, and a rental car. The guy looked at my police report and said "good thing you have this or I couldn't let you on post". I held back the tears in front of him knowing that my Heavenly Father had blessed me. We got on post and i drove to see Toby and pick him up for family day. I broke down...I had not really cried while he was gone except for a short pity party having Cera and now I was bawling my eyes out. (this has become a trend with me, crying only right before I see him, weird.)

I dragged my kids in and prepare Cera to meet her Dad for the first time. Well, well..Toby had lost something like 45 pds in the ten weeks there and was sooo skinny. He had his big issued glasses on and even I didn't recognize him. Carmen was very confused.( She was only two then.) He wasn't very touchy feely but met Cera and that was fun to watch. I met some friends and then we went to have family day and then he would graduate the next day.


We got up and took him back to the barracks way early and packed everything for our flight home that afternoon. It was Friday and my sister was getting married the next day! Graduation was awesome and then they said hug your family you are leaving to get on a plane to El Paso. He said he would try to call from the airport. I drove to the airport and returned the car. I remember trying to take a 2 week old baby, my three kids, our luggage and Carmen's car seat into the airport. Mind you I still don't have any ID's. The way the airport was setup the whole thing was open and then the security was right by the gates to leave. Who do I see? My husband! We ended up spending another couple of hours with him in the airport. My flight was late leaving but we finally got on. What a mess.. I was pretty tired. We got to our connecting flight and they had a cart there waiting for us. We got to the next plane and some guy yells out "this is what we are waiting for?" They close the plane up after we are on.

You got it, they held the plane for me. WOW!! It was not about 9 at night. We get into Salt Lake around 10:30. Turns out the only place I had a hard time was leaving the airport because my parking stub was in my wallet. Stupid lady charged me for a lost ticket and was freaking out about me leaving and not supposed to be there..who would have known.

I get home and we head to bed to get up and go to a wedding in the morning.

Phew!! What a weekend. That weekend was one of the biggest testimony builders for me. I kept going and the Lord helped me every step of the way. He kept us safe and put righteous people in my path to help me. I have told this story many times but it always brings tears to my eyes.

That is the first of many stories in our new Army life and the start of the long road I was soon to find out I was facing.

I love my life, I love my husband and my kids and my whole family. I love the Lord for watching over me and literally sending help my way when I couldn't make it on my own. I am thankful for the opportunities I took advantage of that weekend to get on my knees and not only ask for help but give gratitude to him for the blessings I was receiving.

MY TROY! (toby is going to kill me lol)

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Happy Anniversary!

Once again I have not posted it on the day I have intended to but I want to say Happy Anniversary to my Mom and Dad. "39" years. WOW!! Although they did not consider it necessarily a BIG one, I think of 39 years and how much they have shared together and it brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes I don't stop and think of their life together, but it consists of my life intertwined. I think of not only how it must have been sooo many years ago having babies of their own. I remember, it must have been mike, when they brought him home from the hospital. What would they have been feeling? All these kids, is what I would be thinking. Or when they had thier tenth anniversary or twentieth or thirtieth for that matter. All the births and deaths they have endured. In the face of the world seeming to crumbled beneath us and the fight on families being so strong I am so grateful for my Dad and Mom for not always supporting and not judgeing me, but also for setting one of the greatest examples of love that I have ever seen. Do you know..to this day I don't ever remember seeing my parents fight..EVER! I know. I am sure they have had disagreements and maybe had a tiff or two, and may be able to wisper or be alot quieter than I am capable of, but what a blessing to me. I sure hope I start to take on some of those characteristics. So to Mom and Dad..Happy Anniversary and thanks for all you do! You are both amazing people. May you have many more to come. And next year when it is a big one, you better do something cool to celebrate. lol My sister Em put this together, but I couldn't pass up posting it.

BIGGEST NEWS EVER!!

Ok, I cannot keep the secret any longer. I have asked Toby time and again if I could tell and we are ready to let the cat out of the bag!!






We are going to JAPAN!! You got that right. We have been approved to go to Japan next fall. Although the living quarters are small we don't care and we would love to go and have that experience. Anyone, that has gone to Okinawa that I have talked to have said, "if you ever get a chance to go to Japan take it." Here is our chance. So I am sure you will be hearing of my many new to do lists with getting a family of six overseas, but YAY!!

Sidenote: Toby is still going to apply for the Green to Gold Program. If he gets accepted to that we will be re-evaluating the situation.

I have a ton more research to do but am very excited and very proud of my husband for what he has done to open doors of opportunity for us. Imagine what missionary opportunities there would be there and the new places we would see.

Just Venting

I have about 20 posts waiting to be finished, but need to vent really fast to get on with my day. I realize many people may judge me for moving home from Fort Bliss and staying with my parents yet again. I realize some may look at it as me mooching on them. I do realize that my mom goes over the top with helping us out and I am more than grateful for that.

I am posting this to get it out of my system to move on. I received an email recently from someone that told me I was a loser for how I have lived my life. I will admit to the world that I have not made the best choices at times, but at 21 and a couple kids I was learning. I feel like the struggles I have gone through not only helped me but helped a ton of people around me that I could help see the light. Many times have I strayed from Gods teachings and tried my own way and learned that He does want the best for me.

I am grateful for the family and friends that build me up and see me for what I am. They see me as a supportive friend (who like I have mentioned before may not be there on time but am there when needed.) I am a great motivator and supporter of many people and their goals and want the best for people. Even though I am not the best and yell at my kids, they are pretty amazing and I am doing my best to be a good mom.

I am an awesome wife. I have not always been but through this deployment I have worked hard and making sure my husband knows he is cared about when all other family forgets about him. I am not going to say specific names, but if you read this and wonder, is she talking about me..YES I AM!!

You can think of me how you want but I know how I am and I am pretty amazing. For all the tasks on my plate I eat it one bit at a time and feel like I am doing a pretty darn good job.

Lastly, i mentioned before that I have some pretty awesome friends and family that do support me. Thank you. Your support has helped me in all my achievements throughout this last year and helping me end this deployment with success. I am grateful for positive people and for my Heavenly Father that will help me forget the hurtful things said to me.

I love you all!! Stay tuned for some major exciting news!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I had a hard time with this post because it was such a dear day to my heart, but better late than never. If I could figure out how to back date I would totally pretend that this was done 4 months ago. ha ha

I feel like I do a good amount of posting on other days throughout the year on gratitude but find when you are having a bad day that is does wonders for the attitude. Today is the Tennyson's family day. Today is the only day that we have never been apart from each other, but instead of focusing on this I will focus on what I love about my family and why I love when we are together!!

I first want to say how much I love my kids. I don't mention them often in this setting. Mostly how much they drive me crazy or the funny stuff they do. I really do however, love to be a mother. I am not that great at it, but it gives me something to work on and better myself. They each have such great gifts and the one thing I think I have done good with teaching them is manners. At least when we go places I get great comments on how polite my kids are so I think that means I am doing something right, right?

I am thankful for my husband who is such an example to me of strength and sacrifice. I cannot even start to think of being away from my kids for over a year. He is such a great Dad and the fun parent. We all miss him. I miss him today because today is the day that we would laugh about my lumpy potatoes, dry turkey, gravy not even edible, and dough rolls. (I am getting better at cooking, but we can still laugh at my tendencies.)

I am thankful for my goodly parents and them raising me in such a good envirement. I sometimes think I still act like a spoiled brat but I think that is a nature vs. nurture fight. I think that behavior I have developed on my own. Ok, and maybe they have the tendency to spoil us kids, but they are the best.

I am thankful for my life and the opportunities it brings me. I have been afraid of some of the expectations that are put on me but am ready to face some of them head on. I know I am put in this situation to do more missionary work and look forward to working on that in El Paso and Japan.

Today I have such a thankful heart for dear friends who have touched my life briefly and some that have stayed the course with me.

I guess.. I am just plain THANKFUL for everything.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Only open on Mondays

A couple weeks ago on a Tuesday I was lucky enough to partake in a conversation with Grandma Neilson and my very OCD child Carmen. It went like this:

Grandma: We need to get you tights to go with your Christmas dress
Carmen: Let's go get tights
Carmen: When can we go get tights?
Carmen: Are we going to get tights now Grandma?

Grandma: Carmen, are you listening? The tights store is closed everyday but Mondays, so we will have to wait until another Monday comes around, ok?

Oh, Grandma..

*notice she gave herself a whole week until she had to go. Sometimes this works!

God Bless America

Some are saying this day is something that all Americans will remember where they were when the results were in. I was at the gym. I was running and knew that it was about to be called and finished my workout early to not show sadness with strangers around me. It is true however. I felt today some of the feelings I did on 9/11. Watching not knowing what would happen but knowing this was a big event that would change my life.

In the face of defeat, I am sad that my ideals are not in the majority but welcome our new President of the United States of America.

I have however found something I really do enjoy and that is politics. Maybe because I love solving people's drama. lol. I am more sure now than ever that this is not over. I can do my part and keep my leaders accountable for making this Country the best it can be. I will find ways to be more proactive on anything I have control over and will exercise my right to let my congressman know my voice.

This is not the end of the Republican party and quite frankly just needs to give those of us with the same ideals some fire under our feet. We need to do more and be more involved to keep this Country the way we believe it is supposed to be.

Let's come together now and keep people honest. Let us gather and express gratitude for our right to vote. Thank the Lord for watching over us in the past and do our best to set good examples for those around us for the future. Please pray for our troops to be safe. Be thankful for the freedoms that we have and work hard in the future to keep those same freedoms. Join the ranks of those that will mark a path of change and keep your voice loud and clear to make sure it is the change America needs.

GOD BLESS AMERICA> LAND OF THE FREE>

October Fun

There are a bunch of pictures in this. Grandma made popcorn balls to take to neighbors and the top of the popcorn popper came off. Ha Ha
Grandma was also the one to pick up the pumpkins and carving supplies. Grandma is filling in on some of the fun things that I am not good at and Toby would usually take care of. Thanks MOM
We also went to a place called Gardners Village and looked at all the witches and they had a petting zoo!
We attempted to webcam with Toby so he could see them in their costumes but since it was 3 am there and his battery on his computer died, we are just sending pictures.
It led me to thinking how silly this holiday is. Cera was so confused why I kept dressing her up and then going to peoples houses and asking for free candy and then running away fast yelling "thank you." Does anyone else think it is silly!
Happy Halloween.