I just have to put these thoughts into words before I fall asleep after a long day. This morning when we took Toby to the airport we were thankful to get gate passes which allowed us to go past security and wait at the gate with him. We thought we had a couple more minutes but becuase they upgraded him to first class he boarded early. They called for him and it became a rush. He gave a quick kiss to all the kids foreheads and gave me a half hug because I had Cera in my arms. I felt like it was kindof fast, but I had had all morning to start saying goodbye.
I felt like I was punched in the stomach when I heard Toby say he felt the same way. I thought I was just being a brat about it and wasn't going to mention it to him, but he had felt the same way. Would one last big hug really make a difference, NO, but the thought of it makes me want to puke.
I had one episode after Toby called and I thought about why I am freaking out so bad. I know he will come back. I just hate seeing my best friend leave and I get sad thinking he is going to miss so much of our lives. I am really just upset because he has worries that the younger girls will not remember him when he gets home next time. I just love him so much and hate the first day gone and just the all day to think stage. I couldn't bear to go through the pictures today.
Please morning bring sunshine and chaos!! I need it soo bad. That is what was great about Texas on post there was always chaos so we never had time to stop and think.
I am going to go take some movies back and have a better of dead (the movie) moment where every song makes me want to cry. I will be back..fold laundry, and go to bed and wake up to be refreshed at morning church. I am going to start Cera in nursery tomorrow, YAY!!
Toby, I love you and appreciate the sacrifice you are making for our family. I am so proud of you and want you to know that you are my world and I am behind you every step of this and by your side when you want to talk and ahead of you when it gets to hard for you to lead us. You are the best!
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1 comment:
saying goodbye must be so hard, especially when it didn't end up ideal for either of you! That's awesome that he got to fly first class, and the gate pass thing is really cool - I didn't even think they ever did that anymore :) Kids are so resilient, I bet when he gets home they will jump right back in with him like he was never gone. Robie's dad was gone on deployment a lot and he still loves him just as much!
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