What drives you? _ First published in 2008

In my search for happiness and and balance in my current situation, I have been repeatedly brought back to the thought of what drives me? What makes me try harder or sometimes what is lost when I quit trying? Is there a source of truth that when you rely on it you will be compelled to move forward and in ignorance move back?

Think about it? You have to have something or the person you are will always stay the same. I have been asking this questions in search to find that one thing that is universal for everyone. Although I think it is defined different it all comes back to one thing.

I have heard answers like my kids, my husband, love, my family, my career, my love of traveling, my husbands love for his horses (long story, don't ask), my favorite car to someday own, my financially security. All of these things are great examples of something that gets us out there to work. But if you ask those same people why, and keep asking why, the truth is revealed. Everything goes back to LOVE.
It is where your love is that drives you. Is your love centered in something of goodness or something manmade and can be taken from you in a heartbeat. It is your core beliefs.
Mine is a core belief that I have a Father in Heaven that has given me the opportunity to come to Earth, prove myself, and return to Him. I have a brother Jesus Christ that is my Redeemer, and the Gift of the Holy Ghost to help me reach to Heaven and use my talents to share the Love of God with others.

This Easter weekend, I ask you to look at what you LOVE and what drives you to be better? I ask that you make this a renewal weekend with the knowledge that Jesus died for us, and that He lives again. We are all here to be amazing and use our talents. This week can be a new beginning for us all and committ to share your love with others and refuse to hide your talents from others.

Another great week

This last week was filled with another bunch of successes. I was privileged to go to both Courtney and Cyrus' school for the awards ceremonies. They are both doing so great this year and I hope that showing them how excited and proud I am of them, will help them stay motivated.
Carmen won a race at school. She has been working so hard on her running so it was a great day. She is one determined girl and is doing fantastic in gymnastics. I will take pictures Tuesday of that to show you her skills!

Cera- that girl is one of a kind. I am really making it a point to spend some quality time with her. She LOVES running. So do I, so why not go for a run together everyday. This week, she almost beat me ( and no, I am not kidding) . Every time after that I asked her who put rockets in her shoes.

We are finally making the turn in health here and I am so excited. This week I will be meeting with a friend to make my own flour and come up with some gluten free recipes.
The kids are finally drinking my green smoothies and Cyrus reminds me so much of Ryan ( my brother) it is hilarious. Six pack is his goal this year.. :)

Toby is going for some training so it is major get things done time for me. I am starting a different blog for resource type things and hope to update this one with all my pictures.

We have been working hard with the church youth to earn the money for the Temple trip in a couple months so I hope to tell everyone about that as well.

Life is amazing, isn't it?

Kids are so smart these days

My youngest is still 3, but I have found out how smart they are at a very young age. I figured out months ago.. if Cera was smart enough to play on a computer, learn her alphabet and play on my Iphone or a Nintedo DS- She was smart enough to run a vacuum, dishwasher, or clean her room.

Sometimes we just underestimate them, you know.

We are potty trained!!

I say "WE" because it was more about me, than it was about Cera! I have struggled with this for the last 6 months because the timing never seemed "right". What I have come to find out is that the timing is never "right"- it is how you make it!

At the first of the year, Toby saw my frustration with that being one of my goals for last year and not having it completed. He decided to make it a big deal and I am soo thankful he did.

I know it is over the top, but really--- to me, it is worth it.

Toby made Cera a promise------ go in the potty and be a big girl, get an Itouch!

Yes, she is 3.. but guess how long it took her to figure that out.

Within the week she was potty trained and we no longer need diapers. It is a huge thing in our home and I am so thankful that I will never have to potty train again.

End to a chapter, new beginnings

This last week was super exciting because Toby took a test that is very important to his career and HE CRUSHED IT! I am so stoked about how awesome he did and super proud of him.

The test he took was the ASVAB. Normally it is only taken once for the entrance into the Army. He has been praying about his career for years now, and decided to finally do something about it. He has decided to put in his packet to be a Warrant Officer. This is a big deal for him and us as well. We have been talking about the choices and making decisions since he was deployed. This ASVAB score was something he had to get higher to be able to even qualify to put in a packet for this position.

He studied really hard, and with fasting, prayer and special family members and friends behind us.. the Lord allowed his mind to be open and know the material he had studied for the test.

We are so very thankful to everyone and their support. Have gratitude in our hearts for how Heavenly Father has taken a different role in our lives and we have learned to share our experiences with the One that knows us better than anyone else.

Our new Family Theme this year is " I will go where you want me to go, I will say what you want me to say, I will do the things that you want me to do, I will BE who you want me to BE"

With this change, it has jolted us into movement again and the conviction that the Lord needs us to be examples for all of those searching for happiness.

We are currently finishing up his packet and he changes jobs within the military this week. He is going back online ( means he will no longer be in an office, but working with soldiers.) We are excited for the change and are very focused on our blessings and what the Lord wants us to do.

For me- being super supporter to my husband and children is the focus. I am also changing our family nutrition, and dependency to processed foods, still work my vinyl business and finish more of my personal training certifications to be a better ME and be a better example for those struggling.

I love my life and am so thankful for the gift of free agency. Learning from mistakes, bad choice and consequences. Also the ability to reap the benefits of following my Savior Jesus Christ and the happiness I can obtain if I stay on the right path and hold strong to the iron rod.

Big Day

I will be celebrating the changes happening to our family starting this week. I will post later the results and all our new goals.. so check back in 24 hrs.. I will have pictures, results, and most of all inspiration that hard work and prayer pay off!

Gym time= Date time

I never realized how important dates with my husband are, until after the deployment. When he came home, I knew I wanted to get to know him better and be a bigger part of his life as long as he was home.

This past year and a half living on the island we have been trying to make changes to our lives and set good fitness examples for our children. I am very soon going to be doing a complete nutrition overhaul that will take us to our ultimate goals.

That all being said. Toby and I decided instead of going to a dinner and movie for a date- that cost money and makes us lazy, we would go to the gym together. It has been a learning experience but overall some of my most cherished time on the island with him.

Not only do we have common likes and goals, we can see each other achieve- push each other to our physical limits, he can see me cry for a good reason and then come back refreshed to conquer our little world.

With a gym partner it can get frustrating sometimes and we have laughed ourselves out a couple times because we are unfocused and run a mile and go to the BX instead.. but I can honestly say.. " I feel so blessed to get to date my husband at least 5 days a week for an hour"

If you are ever looking for a date- go to the gym... you will find out a lot about each other!

New hair

Some of you may not be on my facebook, so you haven't seen the change for me.

I colored my hair dark! I have been blonde for so many years. Actually, each child I had, my hair got darker and darker.. so this is going closer to my natural hair color now.

The reason behind it is unique I think. I went over my goals for the year. I set up my 6 month goal and worked backward. When I was trying to find more time... I found that my hair was taking me a couple hours every month. The cost of upkeep was getting to be more than I wanted to spend. ( even though I did do it myself) The products to keep it somewhat healthy was getting to be more and more, and I needed a change. So 8 months after I said I was going to do it, I finally did!

I am really glad I did. The change has been fun, and really taking a load off my mind.

Who knew what a small change could do for my sanity, schedule, and budget.

Christmas Eve

" It's not Christmas Eve. It's Christmas Eve Day.. duh" Classic quote from my Dad I quoted to the kids about 50 times and they just looked at my like I was crazy. That's ok.. I AM!


We followed the Tennyson tradition for Christmas Eve this year. I cook all night and morning the day of. The menu this year was a huge turkey, ham, potatoes, stuffing, corn, spiral pasta salad, monkey bread, 7 layer dip, fruit dip, veggie tray, cheese ball, yummy green salad with candied cashews, fruit salad.

The point of the meal on Christmas Eve is 1. To get everyone nice and full so they sleep well that night. 2. After I cook all this food- it is enough food for 3 days. We eat on paper plates and then I don't cook, or clean for a couple days.. SOOOO my favorite tradition ever!!!

Toby wanted me to go with him for our workout in the afternoon, while the ham and turkey were cooking. I still had to roll the monkey bread out. He said he would do it for me to make it faster. ( How hard could it be right?) Let's just say he didn't enjoy it very much. (MOM- he asked if this was how you did it? I think he thinks because you are wonder woman that monkey bread comes magically for you..LOL)



We made it to the gym that afternoon.. and it was good I did- because all this food was going to be eaten as well.

We invited some friends over who don't have family around. John Hill, a fantastic guy that works on one of the bases here.. ( not a soldier), and Page.. who we love to have over and he always brings some new electronic thing for us to be jealous over..:) We really enjoyed their company and hope they come to our Crazy place again.

Dinner ( if I could say) was amazing! I don't know the last time I had such an amazing ham. I made it in the crock pot, and just put some spices and then brown sugar and no water. It turned out sooo moist. The monkey bread was great.. had to do a second batch in the morning because the first batch did not rise. ugh!'

Here are some pictures after we ate.. there was still tons of food- YAY

Afterwards, the kids opened pajamas and got ready for bed.

These pictures are of Carmen putting carrots out for Rudolph, and some glitter oatmeal so he could see our house when he was flying.

I am so thankful for this season and the opportunity we have to be together as a family. Who knows if we will be in the coming years.. We read the Story from the scriptures and then the kids were fast asleep.

Toby and I obviously stayed up and fixed everything up for morning.. everything was pretty much done- it was nice for it to take all of 5 minutes to have everything out.

Toby and I watched a movie and (knowing the kids had set alarms for 6 am) headed to bed.

How blessed I am to live in this home, in a foreign country with family. How I wish sometimes to be closer to all the family at home.. that time will come again.

My First Marathon

Looks like I will run my first marathon in April. Finally found one here that is not on Sunday. Turns out there are 3 other ones in January or February. Yikes!

I will see how I am feeling for any of those ones.

The tough subjects

I just need to touch on this to let people into my heart, but also to show my gratitude for learning things through struggle and heartache.

Today, Toby came home from work and told me that our friend was going home to the states because his brother had died. I was surprised of course. I could tell Toby was kind of apprehensive to tell me the situation, but he did anyway.

His brother had apparently committed suicide. For those that do not know me very well, I too had a brother commit suicide. I have been very surprised at how much my heart has been aching today. The hurt and sorrow in these situations is sometimes harder to deal with.

I remember that day vividly. I remember the hurt the unanswered question. As I have continued on through life these last 12 years, I reflect back on what I have learned. How I could have reacted differently. How I could have judged everyone I know that has ever dealt with this type of situation. How much I have learned about free agency and choices.

This post was originally written in December and I put off publishing it. I just want people to know, there is a purpose for everyone. Sometimes we lose that focus and sometimes we may need help and not be sure how to ask for it. Whatever the situation is..
As I have been praying about the next step for our family. It has become clear that I cannot run from my purpose in life anymore. As I reflect to see if I have done everything here in Japan that the Lord has sent me to do.. I have to honestly answer NO.
There is a difference in being hard on yourself, and being honest with yourself. My prayers reaffirm that it is the latter and that I have been blessed with special gifts/talents to really be able to help people. The things my parents have taught me to not judge others, but be honest is showing up in every aspect around me.

I have been truly blessed in almost every endeavor I have tried to do. I have learned new skills and have found many new talents by trying new tasks and really asking more of myself.

Bottom line of this post is that I truly care for people. I want people to know their value and their purpose here. My testimony of the Love that our Heavenly Father has for his children is very full and I hope to pass that along to others. It still saddens me about my brother and I miss him, but not dwelling on the negative and going out and helping others who might feel the way he felt is something I must do.

New Furniture

I just wanted to post a picture of my new furniture. I went with leather this time. I had micro suede for the last couple of years. I loved the look of it, but man I hated cleaning it. I failed to cover them in plastic when I first got them. I have just been shampooing them every week. That gets time consuming.

We lost a couple inches in the table but it is still really big and I still love the counter height. I contemplated going down to a regular size. At the store I sat down, and felt like I was sitting on the floor. Counter height is just more US.

I am very thankful for all my blessings and the fact I know how to get a good deal and the salesman was willing to barter on these items.

The couch has a chaise that matches but I have not taken a picture of that yet.

Blogging

I know the picture is extreme.. but I wanted everyone to see how I look while I am blogging tonight.

Remember when Toby was gone for 2 years and I blogged almost everyday? Wasn't that awesome? Well, he is not home tonight, so I am going to blog and relax.. WELL, at least between painting coats for my boards.

This picture is from my Christmas present Toby got me and I am super stoked!

It of course, got here the day before my parents left the island, but we got some fun pictures at the park and then I have been having fun this last week as well.

The hair looks blue, but it is really purple in order to get it really white.. and these wrinkles need to GO.. so a weekly mask/facial was in order.

Black Friday Deal

I am sooo excited! I have been neeing a new drawing program for my computer. I havce been wanting adobe illustrator or corel draw and photoshop for months now. For my business it is a good investment, but I hate just forking out hundreds of dollars for a computer program.

Well... to my surprise, my vinyl distributor- posted a black friday sale, I could not pass up.

Corel Draw for 29.99? You have to be kidding..

It isn't the newest version, but it allows me to do what I need it to do, so I am super pumped. I also got Illistrator for 20.00 for an upgraded version of what I had before.

YAY!!

This will allow me to change my images for my vinyl business and save me a whole heck of alot of time.

My parents came to visit- part 1

We went to get Ice Cream and show my parents JUSCO- When we got there though.. I realized, it was cooler when I was just getting here and wanted to see different places to shop, not necessarily where you go on vacation. We tried to make up for it though on other days..

This post is going to be split because we had such a blast when my parents came to visit.
This last summer because of the fact we don't live in America, we were unable to make it to the annual family vacation. My heart ached that week. I missed my family like crazy. It had been a year since we had seen anyone at that time, so when my Mom told me they were going to come visit us.. we have been soooo excited.

The week before they came I rushed to finish all my orders for vinyl so I could not work while they were here. We had to do some cleaning, and plan for some things to do on this island. We have been here a year and have not been to the big hot spots. So here are some pictures, and I will try to explain as best as possible.

Answers

Tonight I had an amazing experience. I need to go back to the first of the week, to remember that I forget about prayer and try to do things on my own sometimes.

After my Mom and Dad left I have been very refreshed and refocused on my family due to the fact that I didn't work for a week. Taking the chance of sounding lazy.. it feels nice.

So tonight we had a fireside for the youth. I normally look forward to anything like this for the youth because it is always inspiring to be reminded how the youth are such an amazing group of people and that we are children of God.

So today, I got to hang out with a friend for a couple hours and just chit chat, then I did something that surprised me. I was starting to find ways to get out of going to the fireside. I started thinking of all the orders I needed to get done and how much housework there was to do.

I consistently had to remind myself that I was supposed to be there. There was something for me at that meeting and I didn't want to miss that experience with my son.

As I was getting ready... I realized all the things I had negelected during the day that now might make it so I couldn't go. 1. i need to get gas in my car to make it to the Futenma building 2. i needed to shower and get ready. ( too many times I have shown having just showered and not really ready 3. my attitude needed to change

This week has been kindof stressful, becuase I needed to make a couple choices for me and my family. However much I like doing vinyl, I needed to change the way my business was being run. I also love fitness and need to take the overseas test to be able to train over here. I also.. really really love just being a mom and wife ( of which I haven't started the week out being a very good one.0

Toby is in the midst of change as well and I support him, but he needs to know how much I stand behind him, and I haven't been showing him :(

Long story short, I got ready and got to the meeting with my son. The speakers were already speaking. We had Bro. Richardson, and Bro. Stevenson as some of the speakers. Cyrus was embarrassed when I started crying. They were speaking with the help of a translator so the Japanese youth and parents could participate with us.

These were Men of God that had come from Utah to speak to our youth! How blessed we were for the opportunity!! As they spoke of the importance of motherhood, I was reminded of my calling. I have four pretty amazing (biased of course) children.

The speakers also touched on how prophets and the role of the youth. I have an amazing opportunity being the Young Womens president in our ward to lead a group of really fantastic young women.

I realized that I had allowed my spiritual cup to spill and get pretty empty. There are alot of people relying on me and my spiritual preparedness to help them learn the things our Heavenly Father wants them to know.

At the first of the week I was praying and asked my Heavenly Father what I should specifically do to change my life. I have been working and creating opportunities for myself, but needed to know if it was the right way for my family and myself. The answer I got today... sparingly. I need to work for my family ( and for that I am thankful for the opportunity I have over here) but I need to also be: A great wife, a fantastic mom, a role model for the young women of how righteuos women live. I need to be a better friend, sister, daughter, and disciple of Jesus.

My answer came tonight knowing that I can be all of those things. I am pretty awesome and DO have that much to share with those around me.

I am going to continue to work, but only about 20 hours a week. I have worked and met some major goals this past couple of months, but now it is time to refocus.

The purpose of being here is to build relationships and make it back to be exhalted.

This long post, reminds me that I have put off blogging WAY too long.
I love my life and love the opportunities I have to share my awesomeness with others and my family.

Dress up

Girls were playing in their Halloween costumes.. Pretty much a daily occurance around here.

Hangin out

Toby and I rarely take pictures together. This was us waiting for the kids to finish with some activities.

Working

My kids needed to earn their summer activities this year. The are helping me with my vinyl business. Yes they were sanding inside my kitchen but it had been raining for days out, and I needed to get them done.
Great workers! They also have been great at cleaning and yardwork and babysitting.